This awesome:

(858): Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

Awesome

So anyway. Taylor is gone for two weeks and I have nothing to do. Philip is coming this weekend and that is all I have to do other than school. That is it for now.

haha

(614): Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?

(818): I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.

(913): No, drunk sperm still make babies.

(678): He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

Ok I have to go to class now, but I will be back.